Weigh In & NSV

To catch everyone up on where I am.
Today’s weigh in yielded 299.2 lbs. I’ll take it.
I didn’t make it to the gym last week cause my mama was here the first part and then the last part of the week we had this wonderful ice storm. If you know anything about ice and Texas you know the two don’t mix. At all
In fact the days leading up to the ice storm, you could barely buy bread and mill at the stores. I had to goto 3 different stores to get ours.
Yankees often make fun of Texans because of the way we react to cold weather, especially ice and/or snow.
We just don’t get that sort if weather here often. It’s not uncommon to have 50s, 60s, and 70s degrees weather all through the winter.
Our problem is we will have those kinds of temps one day and the next be below freezing. Ahh gotta love Texas weather!

On to my NSV (non scale victory):

I had gotten so fat that I essentially quit shopping.
I had gotten to were if I NEEDED clothes I would order them from a catalog. And my shoes consisted of flip flops (but who doesn’t love flip flops year round?).
Anyways, I went shopping the other day with my mother and Lane Bryant had 50% off everything in the store.
So I was all like hell yeah! I need some new jeans let’s go try them on.
After a couple of hours of trying on and a wide range of emotions that invokes I am happy to report I left the store with 2 pairs of size 24 jeans. I haven’t worse size 24 since high school. I got a slim fit boot cut and a weekend jean. (Idk what that means either). The slim cut boot cut is at the alterations lady having about 2 inches cut off.
I’ve never had to have pants altered before. But even as an “average” length these were 2 inches too long. Even with boots or heels.
That’s it for today 🙂

The Tail of the Bumbling Thumbs

I’ve started to blog.
Several times.
Then I’ve stopped, and stepped away.
I feel like a f*ing fake or failure.
I didn’t want to get on here yesterday and admit that I gained 2 lbs last week.
It’s embarrassing. It’s disappointing.
But then I woke up this morning with a little bit of a clearer head.
Yea, my weight yesterday morning was 302.8 lbs. it could have been worse. And my lovely period showed up a few days earlier than I was expecting. So I’m fairly certain that my weight gain is partly, if not entirely, due to that.

So why is this The Tail of the Bumbling Thumbs?
My computer is acting wonky, so any blogging I’ll be doing for a while will be via my phone. I’m a very, very slow typer with just my thumbs.

On the bright side Thanksgiving is Thursday! If I don’t talk to you before then HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!

Fresh

You may be compelled to ask me why I have chosen to blog here instead of over at www.findingchristi.wordpress.com.  The answer is simple.  I needed a fresh place, that isn’t cluttered up to start blogging again.

And I don’t feel like I am the same person I was when I started that other blog 3+ years ago.

Don’t get me wrong I loved that blog.  For a long time I found what I needed for myself over there.  Then things got to be very stagnant over there.  Instead of having my life set on shuffle, I was stuck in a perpetual repeat.  Hence why I stopped blogging.

I was in the depths of some pretty serious depression and self loathing.  Self doubt is a bitch, in case you did not know.

I had people telling me all the time about how they enjoyed my blog.  That they even thought I was a good (maybe even great) eek, writer.  Surely these people couldn’t be talking about me right?  30 something, stay at home mom, who never finishes anything, the girl who made a 10 (out of 100 possible points) and an essays that I wrote in high school.  That right there tells me there is no possible way anyone could ever insinuate that I, of all people, am a good writer or that someone is enjoying what I have to say.

But here’s the crazy thing.  When I first started Finding Christi, it was for me.  An outlet of my feelings and emotions.  A place to explore the things I thought that I had lost.  In the process of realizing that I never lost anything, that I had only lost my focus and objective, I lost the whole reason in starting that blog.  It became more important what I wrote about and in turn what others thought about me.  Completely contradictory to the reason I started it.  So, it had to go.  And go it has gone.  Gone it is.  It is no longer…ok I’m done with that!

So you may ask:  Christi where are you today?

I am so glad you asked and I will be more than happy to catch you up.

When I weighed in on Monday my weight was 301.8 lbs.  So that my friends is my official (re)start weight.  I had so many hopes that that number would be significantly less by now.  I also had a lot of excuses.   What I didn’t have was commitment.

My blood sugar is a horrible, horrible 496 after 25 minutes of exercise (we can talk about that later) and a small(ish) lunch.  Apparently that lunch wasn’t nearly small enough.

The hubby and I both joined Planet Fitness.  I was scared to death about going by myself.  But I got up this morning and went.  I talked myself into going by promising if I finished my work out (goal today was 1 mile on treadmill), I can tan.  Before you get all preachy about tanning, I know all of the risk associated with it.  If I am sensible and responsible with my tanning I can have a healthy glow without over doing it and increasing my risk.  Besides that, if I’m gonna possibly have lose and saggy skin, it can be tanned, lose and saggy skin.

My goal for today was a simple one.  One mile on the treadmill at a moderate pace, gotta get that heart rate up!  After 20 minutes I felt as if I might die.  I didn’t realize how badly out of shape I am.  Just 2-3 years ago I could have gone so much longer.  Needless to say I was extremely upset.  I texted my buddy L (I’ll have to ask if I can use her full name), and she kind of put it into perspective for me.

At least I went to the gym.

At least I tried.

Next time will be better.

The time after next will be even better.

So, just as before I hope to use this blog as a place to help hold myself accountable.  I’ve got my “workout buddy” in place, even if she is all the way over in South Carolina.  She is willing to check in on me and encourage me and I hope it never comes to this, but soon or later it will, she is even willing to open a can of whoop ass on me.  I just hope she’ll go for one of those small-sized cans and not the ginormous energy drink sized ones.

 

 

 

Work in progress

I will be adding to this site. Please bare with me. Thanks for reading!